The Police service has always been known for its dark sense of humour which lead to almost everyone being given nicknames. Those nicknames stick throughout your service and the meanings are often not immediately apparent. Below are various names you will find officers being called and the meanings behind those nicknames.
The Olympic torch….…Never goes out
Wheelbarrow ……….… Only works when pushed
The Fog …………………..Thick and slow moving
Broken Arrow ………… Doesn’t work and is difficult to be fired
Turkish Slipper ………..Turns up at the end
Station Cat…………..…..Never goes out
Amen ……….…………… Always has to have the last word.
Harpic ……………………Clean ’round the bend
WAFT………….…………What a Fucking twat
ESSO …………….….……Every Saturday & Sunday off
SOS. …………..………….Always Second on Scene.
Bungalow ……………… Nothing upstairs.
Opium ……………….…. Slow acting dope
Exocet …………….……. You can see him coming but there is nothing you can do about it
Bomb Squad …….…….Because he always goes off at every job
BAD ………………..…….Big And Daft
Driller ……….…….…….A Boring Tool
Lofty……………..……….Put his foot through the ceiling whilst searching a loft
Nessie ……..…….………Everyone’s heard of him but no one has seen him
NED………………..….….Not Entirely Developed
BONGO …………….…..Books on never goes out
The Glacier ………..….Moves an inch every year
The Mint ………….……Wouldn’t go out after 8
Pomegranate …………Group of senior officers, more pips than substance
Sensor Light ……..…..Only works when somebody walks past
Gurkha………………….Takes no prisoners
Napsack ………….……A boss that’s always on your back
Jigsaw …………….……Goes to pieces in the witness box
Opium …………………Slow working dope
Domestos ……..……..Big, thick & strong
Wicket Keeper ….….Puts his gloves on and stands well back
Blister …………………Appears after all the hard work is done
Seaweed ………………Floats around all day and stinks
Lantern …………….…Not very bright and has to be carried
Deckchair …….…..…Folds under pressure
G-Spot ……………….You can never find him
2 stroke ……………..Hard to get started and always smokes
Jungle …………….…Thick and dense
Goldfish ……………Cannot remember a thing
Fractions …………..2/5th of fuck all
Cyclone …………….Slow moving depression
Scarecrow …………Just stands around watching
Minerals ……….….Silver in his hair, gold in his teeth, lead in his arse
Chainsaw …………Hard to start and stops for no reason
Perth …………..…..Two hours behind everyone else
007 ……………..…..0 skill, 0 motivation, 7 shit breaks
Claymore ………..Anti-personnel
What are your favorite nicknames? Do you know any others not on this list? Why not let me know in the comments below?